Did you know that we can’t stop our minds from thinking negative thoughts?
I know you are probably thinking… well, that’s messed up 🙂
You see, thoughts are simply an idea or opinion occurring suddenly in the mind.
We can’t stop our minds from thinking any more than we can control the weather.
The mind is complex, and it processes everything you have ever heard, seen, or felt.
So, while we can’t control when thoughts might pop up in our minds (both good and bad), we can control our reactions or responses to them.
The problem
The problem is that most of us have never really tried to control our responses to our thoughts, or you even took ownership.
Some of us even have a hard time controlling our attention 🙂
But I urge you to try and focus on your responses to negative thoughts and how you can prevent them from becoming negative reactions or acting them out.
There’s a verse that says:
… to TAKE captive EVERY thought and make them obedient to Christ. (2 Cor 10:5)
The word “captive” means to imprison or confine.
This means we can limit those negative thoughts from just running wild in our minds.
And get this, we all have the power to take our thoughts captive; it is just something that has to be explored or learned.
Learning how to control negative reactions
I first learned this principle about controlling my negative reactions during a men’s retreat that I went to.
I used to have negative thoughts about how my wife felt about me.
At that time, we weren’t getting along, so I constantly wondered, “Is this the day my wife is going to leave me?”
I would not only have those negative thoughts but also entertain them by thinking up negative responses…
Like, I’m going to keep a window opened just in case she tries to lock me out of the house because I know she is mad at me.
Or, I will hide some of my things just in case she decides to leave me while I’m at work because she had enough of dealing with my mess.
Which led me to get frustrated and upset with her… and she hadn’t done any of those things I was thinking.
At that men’s retreat, I learned that I might can’t stop negative thoughts from coming into my mind, but I can “imprison or confine” them and prevent them from becoming negative responses.
I want to share three ways in which you can do so also.
1. Realize that you are solely responsible for your actions and reactions to your thoughts.
The first step is acknowledging you have a problem… and the role you play in your own life – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Rather than looking around for someone or something else to blame, it would help if you accepted that you are in charge of what is going on with you and inside of you.
2. Don’t be so quick to say what you can not do.
When you are constantly entertaining negative thoughts about yourself or your actions, you can get caught in a cycle of self-criticism.
Constantly criticizing yourself can cause you to feel hurt, rejected, or damaged, which can also lead to self-doubting everything you do.
Critique yourself but never criticize.
We are sometimes quick to say, “I can’t control how I feel” or “that’s just the way I am.”
In Philippians chapter 4, the apostle Paul tells us that he knows what it is to be in need and the secret of being content in any situation… Do you want to know what that secret is? It is that “we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.”
Paul tells us that this is a fact he had to learn.
If we learn to lean on Jesus during those moments when we are feeling hurt, rejected, or like we’re damaged, we will know that God will never “allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able” (1 Cor 10:13) and that He “will never leave you or abandon you” (Deut 31:8).
Instead of saying what you can’t do, quickly remind yourself what God can do.
3. The antidote for negative thoughts is acknowledging thoughts.
I believe the remedy for having negative responses to your thoughts is having positive or acknowledging thoughts.
Instead of saying: Man, there is no way I can stand on that stage to make a speech because I don’t know what they will think of me.
Try saying: God, you know I am apprehensive about getting on this stage, but your Word says You will be with me wherever I go, so… here I go.
Instead of saying: My wife will never accept my apology because I messed up, so there is no need to try.
Try saying: God, I know my wife is upset with me, but your Word says that “Whoever tries to hide his sins will not succeed, but the one who confesses his sins and leaves them behind will find mercy.” Lord, I need that mercy right now.
Don’t get me wrong; we are not minimizing the negative thoughts or act like we don’t have any; we just recognize that there are other possible outcomes or solutions.
I call this my “nevertheless” response.
Jesus exemplifies this perfectly in His prayer in the garden.
“I am deeply grieved to the point of death… nevertheless, not my will, but Yours, be done” (Mark 14:34).
Who here has ever had moments like that?
You may have lost your purpose, maybe felt like you’ve lost your way; nevertheless, God said He instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. (Psa 32:8)
It might seem like you’re being attacked from all sides, and you don’t know if you have any more fight left in you, but nevertheless, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14)
They even lied about you, though they were your friends, they were just smiling faces; nevertheless, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
By being aware of your negative thoughts and their antidotes, you will create a healthier mindset and a healthier you.
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